Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.įollow your heart but take your brain with you.Ī woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.ĭear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.Ĩ0% of boys have a girlfriend and rest have a brain.Īpparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up? Funniest WhatsApp Status Quotes The police called to say one of my friends escaped from a mental hospital. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that. My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take a single one of her dresses, suddenly “we need to talk.”įor you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept On the internet you can be anything you want, it’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid. Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day. People said to follow your dreams so I went back to bed.Įmployee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen. Don’t worry, you’re safe.Ĭan I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?ĭon’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing. It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative.

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